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Hate Days are Weak by Gerry McDonnell

Smarter people than me, if such a group actually exist, have struggled to find a solution to the threat of terror. Islamic fundamentalists are often berated, but I have a certain amount of sympathy for their plight: if I couldn't have a bet or a bacon sandwich, I'd probably be suicidal myself.

I don't want to ram my own theories down anyone's throat (if I was to ram anything down somebody's throat, it wouldn't be a theory), but the only way we can move forward as a multicultural society is to embrace the concept of secularism. The only church I would ever enter is the tubby Welsh one, and I'd need a good few ales beforehand to warm the goggles up.

To hate your fellow man because of the way he lives is absurd, but to hate because of the way a person looks is the height of stupidity. The make-up of skin colour is merely a solitary letter out of the 3.1 billion letters of human DNA. You don't have to be Stephen Hawking to realise the idiocy of racism, even Mrs Hawking could work that one out; if she wasn't down the gym working the bags.

The world looked on in disgust as little as 50 years ago in Alabama, when a group of Caucasians chased after anyone with a darker skin. Yet somewhat ironically, the whole of Britain will cheer a repeat in the Grand Prix on Sunday afternoon.

Lewis Hamilton is undoubtedly the natural heir to German cheating-machine Michael Schumacher. Bookmakers are offering odds of 11/4 about Lewis winning at Silverstone, that's a racing certainty.

I was overjoyed to read that the Ferrari had caught up with McLaren, but my happiness subsided as I realised this had nothing to do with football. As a result of Raikkonen's win in Paris, Hamilton can now be backed at 8/13 to win the world championship. It's time to top up.

Tennis is a sport that absolutely refuses to segregate; they'll happily accept any middle-class youngster into their ranks.

This year's Wimbledon has been ruined by the atrocious weather. It's been confirmed that we endured the wettest June for 50 years; only Terry can be happy about that.

I blame the rain for Mauresmo making an early exit from the tournament; you can't produce your best tennis if your balls are all soggy. I've decided to now get on Justine Henin at 4/9, she's a lucky girl.

Sexism is another one of my pet-hates. I honestly believe that a woman can do anything that a man tells her to. I can't see any of the girls winning Big Brother though; if I had to point to a winner from any of the original housemates, I could only raise my finger to Amanda. Liam has to be supported at 7/2 for outright glory; it's one of the best bets ever.

The great thing about cycling is the multinational nature of the sport. A person of any race, religion or sexual orientation can succeed, as long as they're prepared to put in the years of hard graft needed to find a quality chemist.

Riding a bike in treacherous surroundings may sound unappealing, yet you never hear a word of complaint from Peter Andre. My sources tell me that Alejandro Valverde is a live runner in the Tour De France; I'll be getting on at 6/1.

Homophobia remains prevalent in today's society. Personally, I can't see the problem with Prince Edward bringing up a baby. The 4/6 for England winning their one-day rubber-match against the West Indies is incredibly cute.

Smokers are another group who are unfairly discriminated against. I just hope there's no truth in the rumour that a young Glaswegian will be prosecuted for lighting up in an airport. The 10/3 for Chile holding Brazil to a draw in their Copa America quarter-final will help recoup any draconian fine.


Previous Articles From Gerry McDonnell

» Weekend Tips / A Lazy 'Worst Of' Compilation
» Thai Hard: With a Vengeance
» I've just about had an oeuf
» There Ste Goes Again
» Red Bull - It Gives You Wins
» Lock Stock and Two Smoking Carols
» My Big Fat Weak Wedding
» A Mini Weapon of Mass Destruction
» There's life in the old dog...unfortunately
» Hairy Plotter and the Half-Blood Prince
» As One Door Shuts...A Nutter One Opens
» A Dodgy Ruby and a Stuffed Nan
» Strawberry Fields For Heather
» Wayne drops keep falling on my head
» The hurly bird catches the worm
» Driving Miss Dozy
» Rings that go bump in the night
» Rise of the foot long soldier
» Let's all do the Bart Man
» Obi 1 Hand Solo 0
» Charity, Empathy and Chas to Tea
» Bow Down To Happy Gilmore
» Third Ruck from the Son
» Short and fat, with a Terry on the top
» It's Wayne in Cats and Dogs
» On the third day... Heroes again
» The Wright to remain silent
» This is the ode to Hel
» Lies, Damn Lies and Jamie Redknapp
» Cole, Frank Incensed and Meh
» One flu over...the cuckoo's next
» A Naan and a Leg
» The Chicken or the Meg
» Sven, I'm 6 to 4
» Two Wongs Don't Make Awight
» The Catcher in the Guy
» Girls Allowed? It's Encouraged
» Ding Dong, Merry Lee on High
» Why fight the hand that kneads you?
» Live Free or Pie Hard
» It's not if, it's Sven
» A Ruck and a Charred Plaice
» Hate Days are Weak
» A Small Murphy's...Maybe
» A Chick with a Pick
» We have to stop the Blubber Ring
» I've got my Bouncer down to a Tea
» Should Have Gone To Becks, Save Us
» You Do Thumb Thing To Me
» My French is just Shocking
» 64 Seconds in Paris
» McCaffrey's Gone Flat
» A Little Wayne Never Hurt Anyone
» The Heir on the Dog
» An Expired Pizza to Enter Jordan
» Beer Today Scone Tomorrow
» FA tell McClaren to FO
» That Lam Chop was Delightful
» He's in the Nic
» Lettuce get it on
» The bra has been raised
» The fruit is on the other foot
» Swing When You're Tinning
» A Primate of Fear
» In Thickness and in Elf
» I saw her limping there
» Pie Will Survive
» A Pizza The American Dream
» Playing with one's health
» Heifery Thing Must Go
» A Spanish Beer Mug
» All I want for Christmas is Ewe
» Ex-Panda Bull
» Gone in 64 seconds
» Back to the Fuhrer
» I'm a celebrity, get me oat
» I pity the Newell
» Arsene! Coffee!
» Razor Nigh Brow
» Flappy Girth Day To Roo
» Balloon out of all proportion
» The 'No Bell' Peace Prize
» Where are you now... when I kneed you
» The Bedding Zinger
» A Bung, Bung, Bungalow in Baghdad
» It ain't over 'til the fat laddie swings
» Sore Berries and Cream
» The bitterest pillow
» A Ferd in the hand is worth two on the box
» A Drog with two ricks
» A tie, with a Lam starter
» The Thin Blue Swine, an antepost special
» There's a bad moo on the rise
» Pie, have you forsaken me?
» A rest Wayne in order
» An Aggravated Ribery
» Bat's the way I like it, Aha Aha
» Don't fry for me, Argentina
» Don't you, forget about Lee
» Amir formality for the King
» Marlon, Hammer Reds and Pool Wails
» A nappy ending
» Only tools and horses
» She's got one hand in my pocket
» The pair of the Drog
» Cesc, Drogs and Rock and Roll
» Dairy goes again
» Cruising for a Bruce-ing
» It's a war for four, send in the Gunners
» Jose, can you see? (The star-mangled spanner)
» Smudge not, lest ye be Smudged
» The Jewell of Denial
» Give the Neville his due
» Rob 'n Peter to slay Paul
» The Gram of God
» Whale Meat Again?
» Up a creek, without a Kanu


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