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A Pizza The American Dream by Gerry McDonnell

I'm not anti-American, but I do worry about the cost of supporting Bush.

David Beckham has been criticised for succumbing to the lure of the dollar, but his decision was perfectly justified. Judging by the state of his wife, he was struggling to put food on the table in Madrid.

I'm concerned that other stars may follow Beckham's controversial lead. FC Dallas play at 'Pizza Hut Park', the temptation may prove overwhelming for Wayne Rooney.

Before the Roonatic can commit himself either way, he must first concentrate on United's trip to the Emirates. Arsenal dominated the match at Old Trafford; the 13/8 about a repeat is larger than a 16 inch pepperoni with extra cheese; or as it's known in the Rooney household; 'breakfast'.

If Arsenal v Man U is the main course, Liverpool v Chelsea is a pretty tasty appetiser. The only suitable label for such an extravaganza is the one I used when Peter Crouch claimed he'd score 20 goals this season; 'the big four collide.'

The timing of this fixture could not have been better for the Reds. Everton may have paraded Sylvester Stallone in front of their supporters; but Liverpool fans will get to see two great thespians.

John Terry has been offered a deal worth £600,000 a month; that's just peanuts to David Beckham; which coincidentally, is his wife's favourite meal. Chelsea are a different team without their influential captain, I'm painting the town red at 15/8.

West Ham are beginning to feel the pressure. The once idle threat of relegation is now working out three times a week. The Hammers can take an invaluable point from St James' at a fighting fit 5/2.

Nicky Butt was involved in a nasty altercation with Chimbonda last weekend. I'm not a boxing referee, but I think Pascal shaded it. A 2-2 draw is definitely in play at a colourful 16/1.

Mad Evertonian Sly Stallone is not just a mediocre actor; he's also a pretty warm gambler. Rumour has it that he phoned the Watford manager to say, "Yo Adrian, get on the Villa at 8/13. Great advice from a true football fanatic.

Robbie Savage can count himself lucky. If I was officiating the Gilberto incident, I'd have shown the blonde nuisance a yellow for the original foul, a yellow for the kick after the whistle, a yellow for collapsing like a Hollywood stuntman, a yellow for the patronising 'don't send him off' routine and a straight red for the haircut. Tough, but ultimately fair. Man City v Blackburn is a stick-on draw at a golden 9/4.

I'll take nothing away from the average American, especially his dinner. I'm going to feast on the 5/6 about Reading blunting the Blades.

Let me just clarify, Sylvester Stallone was only in the UK to promote his new film, 'Rocky 6 - The fight against arthritis'. The rumour that Martin Jol was considering signing him as a replacement for Paul Robinson is probably without foundation. Fulham have won their last four matches at home to Spurs, a fifth is on the cards at 15/8.

Sylvester Stallone will be tuning into Sky to watch his beloved Everton play Wigan; if he can get to grips with the remote control. The Toffeemen will have to settle for a draw at 9/4.

Love is never having to say you're sorry, a philosophy that the wife holds dear. I'm not apologising for steaming into the 6/4 about an in form Middlesbrough seeing off Bolton at the Riverside.

Portsmouth are the weekend good things at home to a troubled Charlton. You'll be as grateful as an American on tanks-giving if you play on Pompey at a super-sized 4/7.

This week's accer is so fearsome; Sylvester Stallone has offered it a leading role in Rambo 4. Middlesbrough, Portsmouth, Reading and Arsenal are the selections, the payout is an explosive 17/1.


Previous Articles From Gerry McDonnell

» Weekend Tips / A Lazy 'Worst Of' Compilation
» Thai Hard: With a Vengeance
» I've just about had an oeuf
» There Ste Goes Again
» Red Bull - It Gives You Wins
» Lock Stock and Two Smoking Carols
» My Big Fat Weak Wedding
» A Mini Weapon of Mass Destruction
» There's life in the old dog...unfortunately
» Hairy Plotter and the Half-Blood Prince
» As One Door Shuts...A Nutter One Opens
» A Dodgy Ruby and a Stuffed Nan
» Strawberry Fields For Heather
» Wayne drops keep falling on my head
» The hurly bird catches the worm
» Driving Miss Dozy
» Rings that go bump in the night
» Rise of the foot long soldier
» Let's all do the Bart Man
» Obi 1 Hand Solo 0
» Charity, Empathy and Chas to Tea
» Bow Down To Happy Gilmore
» Third Ruck from the Son
» Short and fat, with a Terry on the top
» It's Wayne in Cats and Dogs
» On the third day... Heroes again
» The Wright to remain silent
» This is the ode to Hel
» Lies, Damn Lies and Jamie Redknapp
» Cole, Frank Incensed and Meh
» One flu over...the cuckoo's next
» A Naan and a Leg
» The Chicken or the Meg
» Sven, I'm 6 to 4
» Two Wongs Don't Make Awight
» The Catcher in the Guy
» Girls Allowed? It's Encouraged
» Ding Dong, Merry Lee on High
» Why fight the hand that kneads you?
» Live Free or Pie Hard
» It's not if, it's Sven
» A Ruck and a Charred Plaice
» Hate Days are Weak
» A Small Murphy's...Maybe
» A Chick with a Pick
» We have to stop the Blubber Ring
» I've got my Bouncer down to a Tea
» Should Have Gone To Becks, Save Us
» You Do Thumb Thing To Me
» My French is just Shocking
» 64 Seconds in Paris
» McCaffrey's Gone Flat
» A Little Wayne Never Hurt Anyone
» The Heir on the Dog
» An Expired Pizza to Enter Jordan
» Beer Today Scone Tomorrow
» FA tell McClaren to FO
» That Lam Chop was Delightful
» He's in the Nic
» Lettuce get it on
» The bra has been raised
» The fruit is on the other foot
» Swing When You're Tinning
» A Primate of Fear
» In Thickness and in Elf
» I saw her limping there
» Pie Will Survive
» A Pizza The American Dream
» Playing with one's health
» Heifery Thing Must Go
» A Spanish Beer Mug
» All I want for Christmas is Ewe
» Ex-Panda Bull
» Gone in 64 seconds
» Back to the Fuhrer
» I'm a celebrity, get me oat
» I pity the Newell
» Arsene! Coffee!
» Razor Nigh Brow
» Flappy Girth Day To Roo
» Balloon out of all proportion
» The 'No Bell' Peace Prize
» Where are you now... when I kneed you
» The Bedding Zinger
» A Bung, Bung, Bungalow in Baghdad
» It ain't over 'til the fat laddie swings
» Sore Berries and Cream
» The bitterest pillow
» A Ferd in the hand is worth two on the box
» A Drog with two ricks
» A tie, with a Lam starter
» The Thin Blue Swine, an antepost special
» There's a bad moo on the rise
» Pie, have you forsaken me?
» A rest Wayne in order
» An Aggravated Ribery
» Bat's the way I like it, Aha Aha
» Don't fry for me, Argentina
» Don't you, forget about Lee
» Amir formality for the King
» Marlon, Hammer Reds and Pool Wails
» A nappy ending
» Only tools and horses
» She's got one hand in my pocket
» The pair of the Drog
» Cesc, Drogs and Rock and Roll
» Dairy goes again
» Cruising for a Bruce-ing
» It's a war for four, send in the Gunners
» Jose, can you see? (The star-mangled spanner)
» Smudge not, lest ye be Smudged
» The Jewell of Denial
» Give the Neville his due
» Rob 'n Peter to slay Paul
» The Gram of God
» Whale Meat Again?
» Up a creek, without a Kanu


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